So much for that.

So, good intentions were initiated. Spending was limited. My discover bill is still not paid off completely. I'm certainly not drowning but. My plan failed. I'm going to get itchy to start purchasing Christmas presents. Perhaps I should buy one thing per person and make something else per person. Like a craft or a baked good. There is probably at least a hundred crafts per appropriately matched person. That's a good plan. Also in the new plan is to make a list of the items I would be willing to compromise on with regard to my relationship with frank and this godforsaken project house. It should have a name it's such a monumental buttsore. I'm having sort of a relationship crisis, and it's making everything else seem very far away when i'm home. Very numbing in a super unproductive way. Emotionally numbing though. Physically, i have indigestion. It is not causing emotional indigestion, just physical indigestion. It's distracting in that ADD way where you're doing something (driving, typing, talking, etc.) and simultaneously some random thought that was obviously lurking subconsciously floats to the surface and that glazed look clouds over my face. I probably look catatonic for a moment. It's not pretty. And I know i'm stuffing it down (which explains the indigestion) because (for example) i went to put olive oil on my tomatoes and i forgot to thank frank for filling the oil caraf because it's such a hated chore and i appreciate him doing it, and i texted him because he's in florida, to thank him and it almost turned me into a blubbering idiot. it's like crossing the line into oncoming traffic for an avid driving-texter. Close call. whew. dry eyes. I walked into group this morning and the most dazed out patient of mine noticed i looked tired. No bueno. He texted me a picture of the sunset. I can't see it because from my kitchen window all i see are treetops with some vague sunset color sinking below them. Certainly not the horizon. It was thoughtful of him. He's still working right now and it's ten to eight. And he was at work at 5 this morning, so it's a long day, and he thought of me to text the picture.
I don't know what to do. So I avoid shopping and i instead add pictures to pinterest.
Listen to my Matt Costa station on pandora. If you're in a chill mood. I have to go eat dinner and watch something mind-numbing on tv.
Tomorrow is another day.