the Tuesday after last.

Hello Friends. I wanted to share with you the few 'firsts' that i've experienced the past week or so. Last Tuesday, i hit my first deer, which was really sad. and then i took pictures of the front of my car and it made me sad again. And then people asked me how it happened and I got sad again, retelling the story. The damage wasn't all that severe--I need a new bumper, grill, and grill emblem. Frank thinks I need a new bumper support too so we'll see what the auto shop says.
That same day, i was scheduled to try and give blood for the first time. As in, donate. Which was an awesome feeling. I felt like I was going to faint twice but I managed to pull through and give almost a unit of blood. I don't know what blood type I have, but the nice nurse who took my bp and tested my iron level, and then took my bp three more times when i almost fainted, called to check on me yesterday. So sweet right? She's not on site but she thought to call and follow up anyway. She said when the results come back she'd make a note to call me again and let me know what blood type I am. Super excited.
Then today, I swung a kettlebell over my head for the first time. I kept looking at the exercises on the crossfit website thinking 'there's no way...' and then today i just wrote it down in my notebook and worked it into my tuesday routine, and i just did it. i thought in my head what it looked like on the video on the website, and there i was, doing multiple sets with multiple reps of a kettlebell swing that extended over my head, crossfit style. What an awesome feeling.
Anyway, I was thinking on some level, while doing backdated weekly notes, sitting on my exercise ball at work, that I should try to do something new every Tuesday. I can't say they'll all be as exciting as swinging a kettlebell over my head or donating blood for the first time, but I will try to do something new. We'll see how it goes.
How is the progress on lowering your expectations? I tried after writing something about it, and it did work. But it's so short lived. I have so many preconceived notions regarding my expectations on how certain things should go down, that by the time i remember that i was trying to lower my expectations, i'm already upset and disappointed.
I'll continue to try my best if you do.

Pretty girls poop too.

i was thinking about an old supervisor recently and the conversations we used to have. the idea that girls poop was a reality that he refused to hear, and i hadn't even initiated that conversation, but i found myself arguing, obviously, in support of the fact that girls do, in fact, poop. I thought of this when I was in the bathroom at work, because it's not a bathroom that only has one toilet, it has two stalls because it's a patient bathroom, and i felt so embarrassed for having to go to the bathroom and it's like, really? why? i was dressed all nice in heels and a skirt, and i thought hey, pretty girls poop too.
we were talking in group and this one patient was talking about how she needs to stop thinking that everyone cares about every little thing she does, and that no one is expecting her to be perfect. And generally, i think that's true, but there are definitely instances that i think we can all think of if we give it a moment where someone was obviously expecting perfect, and they were very disappointed and let us know one way or the other of their dissatisfaction. This is part of the thinking behind my old supervisor's belief that girls don't poop, because if they did, his impression of them would lessen, because pooping is such a vile thing doncha know. which is probably why i disagreed with him so strongly, because how can you judge someone for performing a basic function of even the tiniest single-celled organisms? Right? Even plant and animal cells "poop".
In the spirit of this particular train of thought, i ask my loyal readers (all two of you) as well as myself to drop some of my expectations over the next few days, or at least as long as the thought lasts. See if, when you lower those expectations, you are less aggravated at the result. I will be making a conscious effort and I'll try to report back.
Have a fabulous day and take a moment to enjoy the sunshine.

his will they'll take away.

so, work has been particularly depressing these days. and i know that it's taking up more headspace than it should because i realize on some level how messy my house has become. because i come home and really, how much energy can come from something already so drained? and the distractibility...my goodness. for example. it's taken me about 45 minutes to feed the dog and probably an hour to put the groceries away because sure i scooped food from the bag and put it in his bowl but then i got distracted by what i got from anthro today during my emotional mini shopping spree, and i wanted to make sure i hung the stuff up before it got wrinkled so i did that but then i planned my outfit using the sweater i bought and the shoes i never wear because they're leopard print and high, and then i came back into the kitchen and put water in the dog's bowl and got distracted by putting some of the groceries away, and glancing at the old leftovers in the fridge, felt sad about that, grabbed the dog's benedryl and put it on the counter, and now it's 8:17 at night and the groceries are still on the counter sort of in bags and the microwave is beeping because i settled on a lean cuisine (which counts as a notch for 'fail' in my mental food diary) and the dog didn't get his benedryl yet.
I'm not sure why i bothered. he's not going to eat it until frank comes home anyway.
Now the lean cuisine needs to be eaten and the dishwasher needs to be filled and the groceries need to be put away and it's now 8:24pm and i haven't even peed yet. I think maybe every day this week it occurred to me how badly i'd like to be able to read minds so that i could tell if my pts are lying to me. it's so very frustrating in a distracting sort of way.
so i ate my lean cuisine. i threw a cup of spinach on it so it wasn't as bad. pete actually ate his food, he got tired of waiting. he's been doing his big boy bark and poop dance so i suppose i'll have to take him but after i load the dishwasher...and finish putting the groceries away.
i know these are some boring posts but i'm so scatterbrained...i figured a bit of congruence might be therapeutic for me and you. but mostly me.
good night and happy almost friday. again.