So Leo, the medical records guy at work, mentioned that Frank was home, and he asked if I was happy and I was honest about it being mixed emotions because of what's going on and he closed the door and said "you could tell me to eff off you know" and i looked at him like seriously? and i said "do i tell anyone to eff off?". So I told him the gist with some detail. And it felt safe and i looked away whenever I felt my voice start to quiver and I got through it without crying. The setting was helpful too I mean, the lunchroom, with a thin wall on the side we were standing so the dual office could probably hear us. So I had to play matter of fact. He feels bad and hopes it works out in my favor, whatever that is.
Nice, safe. Impartial third party. The people close to me are too...in it.
Anyway, I overheard a pt call me stupid under her breath and it was almost as devastating. I'm exaggerating. My program will be small and to tell you the truth, I can't wait. I'm so behind on paperwork, it's super embarrassing. I just want a break.
I found a nice hiding place. The spot in the center console of frank's boat is mosquito free and it's just the perfect nook for me. It's fabulous. It will be the head some day but that day is not today or probably this season, so awesome! I love nooks. As in, nookish places. Not the electronic device.
We're doing a minimalist dinner of seared scallops and raw broc with light bleu cheese dipping dressing. My throat is bothering me but my stomach says feed me so I need to compromise.
It's late. I'm tired. Almost there tho. Saturday is within reach, I can smell the blueberry waffles.
goodnight my dears.
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